Jokes
What they say when the light bulb burns out?
Feminists:
No men will change the light bulb
Chauvinism:
We may not change the light bulb, but you can't live without us...
Shiites:
The light bulb burns out
Take a hostage.
Judaism:
Why always the light bulb burns out just before to close the deal?
Jehovah's Witness:
Knock, knock.
Here, we insist to change your light bulb.
New Age:
Can you see the aura of the light bulb?
Hare Krishna:
Light Bulb, Rama Rama, Light light, Bulb Bulb.
Baptist:
The light bulb burns out! (Amen!)
You are burning too often, and you'll be punished for it.
Seventh Day Adventism:
No light bulb shall burn out on Saturday.
Atheism:
I can't believe this light bulb burned out!
Amish:
This modern light bulb is worthless.
Calvinism:
The light bulb burns out because you don't work.
Hinduism:
This light bulb have burned out before
Taoism:
Did you listen to the sound of the light bulb burning out?
Zen:
We are the Light Bulbs
Utopianism
The light bulb is not really burned out.
Hedonism
There's nothing like a good light bulb burning out!
Blavatsky:
Stanzas of the Light Bulb
Stanza I
The Night of the light bulb
Stanza II
The differentiation of the bulb with the light
Judge:
The light bulb looks like an ocean
Leadbeater:
1 - This light bulb was the pencil of Master KH in the lunar chain.
Annie Besant:
1 - Wake up India! The light bulb burns out.
Krishnamurti
The truth is a light bulb without bulb
Young Theosophists in Adyar during the summer in India:
In the beginning was the light bulb, and the light bulb was ice cream, and ice cream was the light bulb.
Geoffrey Hodson:
Wait! Don't change it now, I am seeing the Deva of the light bulb
Rukmini Devi:
Have you noticed how nice is the dance of the light bulb when burns out
Erica
Agents of the FBTI
(Federal Bureau of Theosophical Investigation)
Mission capture - Kama Loca
Your code names are:
PJ - Mahaprakiti
JH – Mulaprakiti
BM – Kalahansa
ET - Akasha
The suspect:
D – Kama loca (please careful do not mix with Kamaloka)
Punishment:
8th sphere
sorry guys I could not resist it :)
Erica
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3078
"Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a
helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not
strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that
one had to leave, because otherwise they were all
going to fall.
They weren't able to name that person, until the woman
gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the
rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up
everything for her husband and kids or for men in
general, and was used to always making sacrifices with
little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping."
Pedro
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3080
You may call me "bill", although that may not be my real name. Some of
you may have known me recently as the bodyguard for Paul Johnson.
Others may remember me as the author and causeless cause of the famous,
"Bill Meredith's Excellent Post" series of e-mails.
Presently, I am an agent with the FBTI and I am involved in an
undercover investigation of espionage and related activities conducted
by notorious "master"minds. If I told you anymore I would have to kill
you which no doubt would leave quite and unpleasant "odour."
Seriously, and yet only relatively true, I am an intricate web of
relationships, attachments, and addictions. I spend most of my day
trying to figure out where I begin and they end and most of my night
trying to figure out where they begin and I end. Despite my tangled
web, or should I say perhaps because of it, I tend to see others as
somewhat tangled in their own webs too. As such, I enjoy talking with
people who speak with the understanding that all attempts at
discussion take place in and about the world of relative truth that we
have woven about us.
Where am I from? Not far from here:
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/
What are my beliefs? That beliefs can be dangerous.
Why am I joining this group? To be among friends.
poof!
Bill Meredith
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3105
Welcome, Bill, to "terra firma". Like you, I am also on an
undercover mission. So far I have discovered that Leadbeater's
brother has reincarnated in the Amazon region and gets high on
guarana. I cannot tell you for sure if CWL himself has reincarnated
but I discovered very strong evidences of a highly secret multimedia
project that is planning to reconstruct his voice and tridimensional
image so that once again he can go on lecture tours, now through the
Internet, around the world. Apparently, the first public programme
will take place at Balmoral Beach, in Sydney, near the location
where the famous Amphitheatre was built. Enough for now.
Should we acknowledge that in creating this friendly space, Erica is
acting like Ariadne in our labyrinthine excursions to face the
Minotaur within? I only hope she gives us enough rope.:)
With warm good wishes,
pedro
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3111
FBTI INFORMATIVE
The agent Ariadne is at the moment working on a secret mission:
Rescue Blavatsky and Olcott from the Caves and Jungles of Hindustan.
Last time Olcott was seen he was hanging on a cow’s tail. The Buddhist monk
Guarana Pemba who witnessed the fact gave the following statement:
- The last time I saw Olcott's he felt from a slippery cliff, but was fast
enough to grab the tail of a sacred cow which was passing by.
She is also investigating the possible connection of the Buddhist monk Guarana
Pemba with Leadbeater’s brother.
As she is very busy with the above task, she may take sometime to reply.
Erica
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3122
Serenade all yours!
Have a look on this link! Better to copy and paste on the browser.
http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/8572800.swf
Help!
Two translators on a ship are talking.
"Can you swim?" asks one.
"No" says the other, "but I can shout for help in nine languages."
Language Barrier
Two highway workers were busy working at a construction site when a big
car with diplomatic license plates pulled up.
"Parlez-vous franηais?" the driver asks them. The two
workers just stared.
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" The two continued to stare at him.
"Fala portuguκs?" Neither worker said anything.
"Parlate Italiano?" Still no response.
Finally, the man drives off in disgust.
One worker turned to the other and said, "Gee, maybe we should learn a
foreign language..."
"What for? That guy knew four of them and what good did it do him?"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3226
Greek
In Brazil when someone is trying to say something that we cannot understand we
say: are you speaking Greek? Here in Greece when someone is trying to say
something and we can't understand they say: Are u speaking Chinese? I wonder
what they say in China. :)
Erica
In a message dated 3/24/2006 4:00:15 AM Central Standard Time,
eletzerich@yahoo.com writes:
I wonder in China what they might say. :)
"Are you speaking Portugese?"
Chuck the Heretic
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3231
"Are you speaking Iiingrish?" :)
Pedro
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3239
If a new, defining, label is needed to go hand in hand with
your "Originalist Theosophy", it could be:
PTOTOTKs: "Proper Theosophist of the Only True Kind"
Of course, it goes without saying that a "Proto-Ptototk" is one that
has read only half of the first chapter of "The Key to Theosophy"!
:)
pedro
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3266
The return of the lightbulb
Q: How many Theosophists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. By the time they finish discussing whether the lightbulb needs
changing, the proper method in which to change the lightbulb, how it might
have been done historically, and how everybody else changes lightbulbs,
it's already daylight.
B: None. It was the karma of the bulb (and perhaps the lamp) to burn out.
In time it will replace itself, perhaps with a higher but never with a lower
wattage bulb.
C. If we consider that was during a meeting of Ledbeaterians and Blavatskyans
they would remain in darkness once they would never agree about the proper
way to change the lightbulb.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3598
D. None. If they are krishnamurtists, they would say: Light is
bulbless land!
Konstantin Zaitzev
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3599
In a message dated 4/19/2006 12:04:56 PM Central Standard Time,
eletzerich@yahoo.com writes:
C. If we consider that was during a meeting of Ledbeaterians and
Blavatskyans
they would remain in darkness once they would never agree about the proper
way to change the lightbulb.
D. The discussion becomes so animated that a flying chair breaks the
fixture along with the lightbulb.
Chuck the Heretic
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3600
Post made at theos-talk
THE MAHATRIX
- Hi Neo
- Who are you? How did you know my name?
- I am Morpheus and I know a lot about you. Have you heard of the Mahatrix?
- The Mahatrix?
- The Mahatrix is all around you! Take the blue pill and stay with Leadbeater,
take the red pill and stay with Blavatsky, take the white pill and I will show
you the truth.
Neo feels the smooth skin of the capsules, with the moisture growing in his
palms.
-Remember that all I am offering is the truth nothing more.
Neo opens his mouth and swallows the white pill.
-Follow me Neo...
- Neo, here is a group to discuss about theosophy.
- Eeeuw!
- Welcome to the real world! From the beginning of the theosophical movement in
the 19th century, conflicts started happening, and groups began splitting,
members left the theosophical society and founded other movements, other members
were expelled from the society. In the 20th century, theosophical groups from
several branches of the theosophical movement began attacking each other. For
decades they are labelling each other, excluding those who think different.
These fights remain until today between theosophists.
And...
Every time you give a lecture.....
Every time you are present in a lecture....
Every time you sign up for a workshop......
Every time you post in a theosophical group.....
Every time you are in a theosophical meeting....
...the Mahatrix is all around you Neo, but the Mahatrix isn’t real it’s a Maya.
...you can touch it, feel it, listen to it, write about it, but isn't real.
There still a chance to change the system. One should look for the answer unless
they have to because once you see it, everything changes. Your life and the
world you live in will never be the same.
That is the Mahatrix, Neo.
- Are you ready to join the resistance?
- Count me in! Yahhh!!
Adaptation by Erica
Erica Letzerich wrote:
(Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:10 pm)
Why theosophists argue at theos-talk?
1. Machiavelli: The point is that the theosophists argue at theos -
talk. Who cares why?
2. John Locke: Because they are exercising their natural freedom
rights.
3. Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the theosophists arguing at theos-
talk , their argues have no meaning except to them.
4. Fox Mulder: It is a government conspiracy.
5. Freud: The fact that you thought that the theosophists argues at
theos-talk reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
6. Darwin: Theosophists, over great periods of time at theos-talk,
have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now
genetically dispositioned to argue.
7.Richard M. Nixon: The theosophists do not argue at theos-talk. I
repeat, the theosophists do not argue at theos-talk.
8.The Pope: That is only for God to know.
9.Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all theosophists
will be free to argue at theos-talk without having their motives
called into question.
10.Immanuel Kant: The theosophist, as autonomous being, has chosen to
argue at theos-talk with other theosophists.
11.Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why theosophists argue. Someone
told us that the theosophists argue, and that was good enough for us.
12.Plato: For the greater good.
13.Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
14.B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded
their sensorium from birth, had caused them to develop in such a
fashion that they would tend to argue, even while believing these
argues to be of their own freewill.
15.Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to
themselves, theosophists found necessary to argue.
16.Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny the argue in your own
self.
17.Dan Frazier: For fowl reasons.
18.Mark Twain: The news of argue between theosophists at theos-talk
has been greatly exaggerated.
19.Epicurus: For fun.
20.David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
21.Othello: Jealousy.
22.Pyrrho the Skeptic: Who argues?
23.The Sphinx: You tell me.
24.The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said to the
theosophists, "Thou shalt argue with other theosophists at theos-
talk." And theosophists argued with each other, and there was much
rejoicing.
25.Taoism: Listen to the sound of theosophists arguing.
26.Jehovah witness at the door of theos-talk: Knock, Knock, Knock… Hi
we are here to argue with you.
27.Hinduism: Those theosophists have argued before.
28.New Age: Visualize no argues between theosophists at theos-talk.
29.Rastafarianism: Lets smoke while theosophists are arguing.
30.Calvinism: They argue because they don't work.
31.Seventh day Adventists: Let's ask the theosophists at theos-talk
do not argue Saturday.
32.Hedonism: There is nothing like to see a good argue between
theosophists.
33.Wiccan: An it harm none, let theosophists argue..
34.Hare Krishna: The Theosophists argue, Rama Rama, Ding Ding.
(Repeat until you begin arguing also)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3663
Pedro Oliveira wrote:
(Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:27 pm )
> Why theosophists argue at theos-talk?
There is too much talk and too little theos.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theosophy_/message/3672
T. Collins wrote:
(Sat, 06 May 2006 07:35:02 -0000)
http://www.myspace.com/bookish1 posted this. Who knows who wrote it.
Maybe some here will see some humor in it.
peace,T.C.
Hush Little Baby
New Age Version
Hush little baby don't you squall,
Momma's gonna buy you a crystal ball.
And if you still can't see beyond,
Momma's gonna buy you a magic wand.
And if that wand don't change your fate,
Momma's gonna teach you to levitate.
And if the astral makes you sick,
Momma's gonna buy you an incense stick.
And if that frankincense smells rank,
Mom'll buy a sensory deprivation tank.
And if that tank don't float your bones,
Momma's gonna buy you some some precious stones.
And if those gems don't ease your heart,
Momma's gonna buy you a natal chart.
And if your planets go berserk,
Momma's gonna buy you some bodywork.
And if your aura still needs kneading,
Momma's gonna buy you a past life reading.
And if your destiny stays hid,
Momma's gonna buy you a pyramid.
And if your chakras still feel stressed,
Momma's gonna take you on a vision quest.
And if power animals don't come to charm ya,
Sorry, kid, it's just your karma.
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